REAL NEWSPAPER ADS:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES… Mother, AKC German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog… able to
leap tall fences in a single bound.
FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat… been out a while. Better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.
GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown – 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.

AND THE BEST ONE:

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.

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I think the last one should be husband know all but I like that anyway

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