The Following Were Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
FREE PUPPIES… PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART STUPID DOG
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT…
BEEN OUT AWHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB — $850/offer
SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE…
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
COWS FOR SALE. NEVER BRED CALVES.
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
20 YR. WARRANTY.
LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
HUMMELS – LARGEST SELECTION EVER
"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN – 89 cents lb.
NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED – USED ONCE
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 – $9 PER HOUR.
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS – $175.
OUR SOFA WILL SEAT THE WHOLE MOB.
100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
SELLING WASHER & DRYER $300.
ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES
FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
AND NOW FOR THE BEST OF THE LOT:
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 negotiable. No longer needed. Recently
married; wife knows everything.
Are these for real! Quite a collection Thanks for the joy of
humorous laughter, this is a keeper to recycle. By the time I got to the Italian sofa, I thought I was laughed out, that one
brought a roar. The last one was, Oh! Boy, The honeymoon
is over———-Thanxs
Thanks Sid ! I was wondering where you had gotten to. These are a riot, especially the one about the parachute.
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Those are great. Someone sent me a picture of a septic tank cleaning service's truck — the license plate was POOPUMPER.
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Thanks for the laughs.
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These should definitely have been less specific. lol Some good ones there, '1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog', that's hilarious! lol
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funny—-thanks……..sad thing is, some people will not even notice and will repond to ads…..
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So funny!!!! Thanks for the chuckles this morning!
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Those are so funny!!! Thanks for some great laughs!!!
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I like the one about the gay bull lol.
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excellent sid !!!
wondered where your jokes had run off to
need more boudreaux !!!
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Touche' you have started my day off good….
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You're on a roll — thanks yuk
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Great stuff !!
How bout this one from a small town radio on-air 'Swapmart' . A farmer called in to sell 20 ewes of his herd . They put him on the air and he says " I got 20 EEE-WEES for sale" . True Story .
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Nothing like a good daily chuckle..the Elmo one is my favorite…..here's one for you.
My local paper:
Found:one small terrier mix..about 8 pounds..female…golden red with white paws..one gold eye, one brown….
…..call to identify.
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Those reminded me of a classic ad which once appeared in the Village Voice newspaper in Greenwich Village:
"After seven years of careful preparation towards being a concert pianist, I am now prepared to offer my services as a baby sitter".
I guess he flunked the audition. LOL!
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So cute. I advertised for homes for a litter of kittens this way:
My momma was the neighborhood hussy and papa was a rolling stone, we need homes, papa is not paying child support, we cannot locate him. He must be cute, cause I sure am!
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LOVE IT. those are great. never see any good ones around these parts.
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These were absolutely wonderful. And ever so Senior.
When I was younger, I was driving by a Church in Indiana, and I swear, the sign out front read: "Do You Know What Hell Is? Come Hear Our Organist".
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Life – And Those Of Us Who Live It!
Are these for real! Quite a collection Thanks for the joy of
humorous laughter, this is a keeper to recycle. By the time I got to the Italian sofa, I thought I was laughed out, that one
brought a roar. The last one was, Oh! Boy, The honeymoon
is over———-Thanxs
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